Snakes in the Grass

Protect yourself from snakes in the grass, whether real or imagined. 

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Transcript

Hello, my fine friends. 

When I was a kid (I know—a lot of my podcasts start that way, don’t they)? “When I was a kid.” I was a kid once. I promise. It may be hard for those of you who see this on video to believe that I ever was a child, but I was. We lived on a farm, as many of you know, and one of my jobs was to help gather the hay. Now, for those of you who are non-agricultural, the hay that we usually feed to horses around here is made from a kind of grass called alfalfa. It’s a flowering grass, and the alfalfa smells so sweet. 

It gets a couple of feet high (maybe)…probably somewhere around there, and has little tiny purple flowers on it, and it’s just beautiful. You’ll see huge fields of alfalfa in many of the Western states, and I assume some of the Midwestern and Eastern states but ,you know, who lives there? Anyway, these alfalfa fields are beautiful, and once the alfalfa is ready, you go through and cut it down and let it dry, and then you push it into rows, and then you go past with a machine called a baler and it makes bales of hay out of that dried alfalfa. The bales have to be nice and tight. And then your job, when you’re a kid, especially if you’re on a farm in Idaho, is to go around and pick up those bales of hay, stack ‘em on a wagon, take ‘em back to the barnyard and make a big haystack. It’s really hard work, but that’s why I was so bloomin’ tough. Don’t even mess with an Idaho farm kid who’s been hauling hay. They’ll hurt you.  

Anyway, one of the interesting things about where I lived is that we had quite a lot of bullsnakes. Now some people call ‘em blow snakes. That’s actually not a word. Some people call ‘em gopher snakes. Gopher Snake is actually a nickname for the family pituophis, which is the kind of snake species they are. But a bull snake is a subset of that. So if somebody says Gopher snake, they’re just talking about that snake family. And a bullsnake is one that’s really pretty prevalent in, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, and several other states in the Western part of the US, and down into Mexico. They’re from two to four feet in length, generally, when they’re adults, but some can get as long as eight feet. They’re not quite as big around as a rattlesnake, nor are they poisonous. They’re constrictors. But they’re pretty good sized snakes and they will actually mimic a rattlesnake if they’re threatened. So if someone as large as an adult approaches a bull snake, the snake may see that adult as a possible predator, and they’re gonna get a little feisty. 

They’re not gonna run you down. They don’t chase you or anything, but they will aggressively protect themselves, and so they’ll kind of back up into an S shape, similar to a rattlesnake, use muscles to flatten their head a little bit, and then raise up and strike at you just like a rattlesnake would. Some people mistake the two. They don’t look the same, but a casual observer might see a bullsnake and think, “oh, that’s a rattlesnake,” and kill it. Bullsnakes, however, are your friends. I know this is a weird podcast. This is not what the podcast is about, but you’ll understand why I’m telling you this story. 

Bull snakes are your friends because they’re really, really good at freeing fields of rodents, mice, gophers, prairie dogs, those kinds of things. They’re only aggressive when threatened. They’ll mostly try and get out of the way. They’re not generally going to strike at you. If they did bite you, it’s not the end of the world, it just hurts. And if you are an Idaho farm boy, they’re really fun to catch. 

I only had one experience catching them that wasn’t so fun, and that’s when I caught one that was quite large. Remember, they can get between two and four feet long, and this one was probably close to the four foot range, and they’re constrictors. I had his head held between my fingers so he couldn’t extract it. But instead he just wrapped his body around my arm and then began to squeeze, and it actually started to hurt. I was probably in seventh or eighth grade at the time. That would’ve been eighth grade. Anyway, he wrapped around tight enough that it began to hurt, and then he used all of that muscle, that four feet of muscle, to start trying to pull his head out so he could bite me. That alarmed me a little bit, so I quickly grabbed his tail and unwrapped him as fast as I could. It was like unwrapping one of those old coiled phone cables, except it was around my arm. Unwrapped him as fast as I could and then tossed him a few feet away. He just crawled off into the dirt and went home and left me alone. I promise they don’t chase you or anything. I have at least one daughter who loves snakes, and we have caught bull snakes together, so I raised at least one of my children right.  

Now, if my friends had come over at the time… I know I have some who, had they gone out into that field with me to see that tall, green, beautiful sweet smelling alfalfa, mixed with the smells of the grass that was beginning to dry in the sun and the sage brush and the breeze coming across, they would’ve been overwhelmed by how beautiful and how peaceful and how lovely it all was, and freaked out of their minds, had they known that there were snakes in the field. I guarantee it. I know some of you wimps who are listening to this podcast right now would have the same reaction. But, the grass and the hay, the alfalfa, and the smell of the sage brush and the beauty of the view, and the sun moving towards sunset and the shadows getting longer—all of that was enchanting, and was far more prevalent than the snakes. 

Now, how did I know there were snakes in that field? Well, number one, because I caught a few, but that’s not the biggest one. The biggest one is that when we would bale the hay and we had chopped it off short, sometimes, trapped inside the hay and poking out a little bit, or bound up in the twine, would be—you know—a three foot long dead snake. And yeah, we saw several of those.  

Remember—thousands of bales of hay; a handful of snakes. Was the hay more prevalent than the snakes? Of course it was. Were the snakes really a danger to any of us? Eh, probably not. Even if you stepped on one, they would usually try to get away. Now, if they had time to respond and they looked at you and decided that you were really a predator, then they would hiss and back up and pretend to be a rattlesnake. I only ever saw one strike once in my entire life. Not a real threat. There are some snakes that are real threats, and recognizably so. A bullsnake is a recognizably real snake, but not much of a danger. A rattlesnake is a recognizably real snake and probably more of a danger. Yes, rattlesnake venom could kill you. But some snakes are only imagined, and those are the most dangerous. 

 Had, I brought a snake-fearing friend to that field, it would’ve been the imaginary snakes that caused them to fear most, not the real ones. The real ones were of little danger. The imaginary ones, especially in an imagination run wild with fear, would cause the most psychic trauma in that person. 

And so it is with all of life. We have real snakes and we have imagined snakes. And usually it’s the ones we imagine that are the most dangerous to us. 

We live in a world in which bales of snakes—or bales of hay containing snakes—are shown to us over and over and over, keeping us in a constant state of fear. Most often, they’re shown or displayed by people who will profit from setting themselves up as the only solution to what we’ll call, “the snake problem.” 

Most of the time, there is no snake problem. The beauty of the experiences that we can have during our lives is usually greater than the trauma or the risk, or the pain or the fear. It’s the imaginary snakes that are most dangerous. It’s worrying about things we need not worry about. It’s the fear of pain or the fear of fear that can keep us in a constant, heightened state of anticipation, of dread, and of powerlessness. 

Why would you want to live there? Some people are recognizable as snakes in the grass themselves; prideful, narcissistic, feeling no guilt or compunction about causing injury or harm to another. But what do you do if you can’t see them? What do you do if you are near actual snakes but you’re not sure? 

There are four things you can do about snakes. The real ones; whether or not they are hidden. Number one, you can live in crippling fear. That is an option. It’s not one I recommend. It saps the joy out of everything in your life. Fear is not your friend. Fight or flight is not a state of existence, and it’s not one I recommend. 

Number two, you could protect yourself. When we were out in the field, knowing that there were snakes there, however few, we wore work boots. I’m not gonna wear tennis shoes or flip flops in a field full of freshly cut alfalfa with pieces sticking up three or four inches that are gonna poke my ankles and make my feet hurt and scratch me all up. So instead I wore clothing appropriate to the task. We wore heavy jeans, work boots with high tops, knowing that we were safe from injury, from the alfalfa, the dried grass, sticks or twigs, and if it came right down to it, a snake. They weren’t gonna do us any harm. And so we prepared ourselves for that environment.  

Well, you can do the same thing. Avoid the likely hangouts of actual snakes in the grass. If your field of endeavor, whether on a farm or in a company or corporation, in a religious organization, or any other, contains potential snakes in the grass, arm yourself accordingly. Dress in a manner, even metaphorically, that protects you from likely injury from any of those things, including the snakes in the grass. Know how to spot one. You can learn enough about people and their personalities, their backgrounds and their likelihoods, their history in work and in life, to spot a snake and avoid it. If you spot one, go somewhere else. If you work for one, try to get along. If you appear to be a threat, they’re more likely to curl up in an S shape, begin to hiss, and possibly strike. If you need to, leave the field. You will know how to avoid aggression. 

Number three, get away. I mentioned leaving the field as an option. If you are in a position where you are exposed to snakes in the grass, and I mean mostly the human kind; if they are part of your inner circle and are unhealthy to you; if they are likely to cause you harm, to constrict you, to bite you or to poison you with their thoughts, opinions, feelings, behaviors, or attitudes toward you, get away. You’re not being valiant by staying in a dangerous situation, and you are not expected to do so. 

Number four, fight. Now, some of us are taught our whole lives that fighting is bad. No. Fighting for what is right and good, is good. Fighting for freedom is good. So fight. Most actual snakes can cause painful bites, but very few will kill you. If one gets its teeth into you, be patient enough to wait for an opportunity to release its grip on you, undo the teeth, and throw it away from your body. Place it far away, or chop its head off if needed. Now a note: chopping its head off should be done only figuratively when we’re talking about humans, just to be clear! 

Fear will not help you. Avoiding the productive hayfields, the beautiful foothills, the exhilarating trails, or the romantic walks, in the name of safety, will not improve the quality of your life. There is nothing quite so empowering as choosing not to be afraid. 

Learn enough to handle surprises, but avoid focusing on what you’re afraid of. The world is a much more exciting and beautiful place when you enjoy the beauty of the grass. The beauties far outnumber the threats. The world is a beautiful place full of beautiful things and beautiful people, among whom are most of you.  

Now, as always, if I can help you with this in any way, be sure to contact me. You can find me on Facebook. You can find me on social media, but you can also find me on my website: NateWalkerCoaching.com. Go to the contact link and tell me what you would like me to talk about or how I can help you best. 

Be sure to share this with family and friends and we’ll talk again soon.